My Past Superbowl Experiences (the college years)

During my high school career, the Patriots won two Superbowls. I watched them like a good little high schooler would: stone cold sober. I enjoyed every minute of it. I only went to one of the parades, my senior year, but I had a blast. Once I got to college, I obviously had to step it up a notch.

Freshman year 3 of my “girls” and I drank a handle of Smirnoff citrus followed by a few bud lights, followed by smoking a bowl, followed by an obscene amount of domino’s(which to this day I truly can no longer eat). One of my friends fell down the stairs of the dorm and was bleeding from the leg. I’m pretty sure we fixed her up with duct tape. I returned to my room and realized I had to get my laundry from the dryer. I scurried down to the laundry room and then it happened. I had a horrible nauseating feeling. I pushed the basket aside and barfed all over the laundry room floor of my dorm (see future post Why am I Single?).
Sophomore year was a little more tame – only a few bud lights, no dominos. Probably because the Pats weren’t in it and the most intense episode of Grey’s Anatomy was on immediately after (if you don’t know which episode I’m referring to…it’s the bomb episode DUH!) All solid reasons for not stepping into the black. Junior year, again no Pats, so vague memories of art projects and a mozzarella stick or two are coming to mind…wild right?

Now, the majority of New Englanders would agree that last year’s superbowl, “black sunday” if you will, may have been the worst day of their life as a sportsfan . I can’t argue with that, but in terms of college partying, this had to be one of the greatest days…ever.

I woke up still decently intoxicated from having participated in my first ever “Edward 40-hands” the night before. I was first to finish for girls (again see future post Why am I Single?) We headed to the grocery store to get the ingredients for our superbowl snacks. Clearly I was immediately distracted by bottles of champagne (it’s a holiday right?) and the 24 oz. bud lights (later dubbed “big boys”) . By 2 p.m. we were well on our way. We headed to the campus bar for more “pregaming”. Keep in mind, we were wearing sweatpants and I donned a shirt that said “this is my fun shirt” and clearly…I was having fun. With a pitcher in each hand we continued the binge.

We watched in agony, as the Pats blew the perfect season. But we were bordering the black… and thought “this night can’t end”. We bee bopped through the quad, wreaked havoc in the sophomore dorm, and tried to kick down a door in another in an effort to recruit partiers. By this time, all of campus was fast asleep dreaming that the night had not happened. We decided to exploit their slumber. We headed towards the junior suites…We thought “let’s do a service to the college and rid these underage students of their contraband”. Obviously in our hazy minds it came out more like: “LET’S RANSACK THE SUITES”.

All these unknowing coeds left the doors to their suites unlocked. We casually walked in opened up a the fridge of our first victim and found a few straggling assorted beers. We took them. We head down one floor. two drawers full of bud lights. JACKPOT. But where to store them? We didn’t think this through…to the trash room we go. We find a box and start loading it up, we’ ve probably hit 6 fridges at this point…we head back across the parking lot to my house to unload. Round 2? Absolutely. This continues for an unknown amount of time. As we found beverages we wanted to try along the way we “sampled” them in chugging-like fashion .
Highlights: 1) an XL trash bag full of assorted magic hats, sam adams, miller lights and bud lights – felt like Santa on Christmas eve. 2) 2 Heineken Mini-kegs 3) A half-full miller lite 30 with a piece of lined paper and a note in pencil that read “DO NOT DRINK” – ganked, obvi. 4) We got locked out after one of our drops- I scampered around to some unknowing junior girls window “I’m locked out!” She lets me in ..we I continue to ransack. 4) 4:00 a.m. rolls around “this night is epic, epic”.

We woke up the following morning to find my kitchen looking like a beverage warehouse. I honestly wish we had taken in inventory of all the beer/wine/booze we had stolen. The following food items had also been stolen: a carton of cupcakes, pretzel sticks, and tostitos.

1:00 p.m. rolls around. Unfortunately, I am not able to make it to my one class of the day. I am a waste of life. I had to skip beginning dance class.

4:00 p.m. lacrosse practice. it is sprinting day. I now actually know what death feels like. Oh and I have a paper do the following day that I had not yet begun(which I end up getting an A on, God I loved college).

This year’s experience cannot possibly live up to the events that occurred last Superbowl Sunday. Not to say I’m no longer a good time; I do still have my fun shirt…but if I broke into my neighbor’s house while they were sleeping I would most likely be spending the night at the Boston Police Station. Maybe this will be one of those more low key years…Mozzarrella sticks anyone?

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