Archive for March, 2009

"If you judge people you have no time to love them" – Mother Teresa

March 27, 2009
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Add this to my list of dreams…

March 25, 2009

My new favorite thing to do is go to my on demand and look up the latest “dating on demand videos”. You can also watch them online at http://www.datingondemand.com/

I won’t lie, my goal is the find these people when the come to boston, and get myself on there! They haven’t yet figured out how to connect people…but hopefully by the time I get myself on the show they will…

“If I were to commit a crime it would be a white Collar crime”

“What I want people to know about me is I’m sort of a wild and crazy guy, really spontaneous…I also live at home with my parents…but that shouldn’t be a detraction against people…”

“I have just been living vicariously…”

“Looks don’t really matter, obviously if I look at a girl and i’m like ugh woof, like it’s not like that great of a thing…as long as she’s not visually offensive..”

“You should date me because I’m not all that ugly..”

“My dream man or woman looks like McCully Culkin”

Be All You Can Be…

March 23, 2009

My sister Beef’s boyfriend , a West Point grad, currently serving our country in the Army, turned the big 2-3 Sunday. Now, keep in mind the last time he was in town…things got a little wild. Second Lieutenant Blackout and Beef blacked out and left he bar and found them in the street a solid hour after they had left. Beef had fallen on her face and Second Lieutenant Blackout couldn’t find a cab on a street filled with them. This weekend wasn’t much different, everyone seemed to be all they could be…

We thought we’d get some friends together to celebrate his day of birth. Second Lieutenant Blackout’s bar of choice for the night was Kitty O’Shea’s (dubbed Shitty Okay’s by a friend. No complaints here…I had a slammin’ time)

Above pictured: Beef (Left) drinking one
of 3 waters that she tried to “pay for” on her tab.
Boyfriend Second Lieutenant Blackout(right).

I called up my most favorite cab driver Ramon, a 350+ lb man (who will dispatch a cab to me from vaca in FL), and rounded up cabs for the 20 some-odd people in my apt. over to the bar…
Upon arriving our hometown and college friends were getting along splendidly. I’m not sure when we all turned a corner, or who roofied us all, but things sure got sloppy…
Second Lieutenant Blackout had successfully downed several drinks and the jams were pumpin’ so he started to bust a move or two on the dance floor. Beef, 8 beers deep after she left the apartment, wanted to join in the fun and dance with her man. Upon seeing Beef’s dance moves Moose, our older sister, immediately saw to it that the situation was squashed. Our conversation on Sunday went as follows:

Popprincess: Moose, why’d you stop Beef from dancing?
Moose: I was trying to protect her image.
Second Lieutenant Blackout: Who was trying to protect my image?

Pictured Right: Second Lieutenant Blackout & Beef Summer ’08

The night got a little hazy after that, but Nugget’s facebook album helped us piece it back together.:


Damn.

We.

Look.

Good.

Apparently getting a cab home was a feat only Nugget and I could accomplish. Biz and my Britney Spears obsessed friend jumped in the back of a woman’s car (as if it were a cab) and said “Take us to Southie!!”. Allegedly the entire car ride Brit was calling her friends and saying “Yea, this really, really strange woman is giving us a ride!!!”

The strange woman was named Amalia. She was in her mid-thirties, a little larger, with frizzy curly hair, possibly gap-toothed. Biz, feeling bad that Brit called her strange, decided to bring her into my house for the after party.

Amalia came in like a hurricane. She was all about the meet and greet and asked what “hot guys” were coming over. Someone ever-so-kindly told her “I’m not trying to be mean, but they would never hook up with you”.

Amalia grabbed a road-soda and headed home…

A few minutes later a hood sounding man called me to “see what shorty was up to”. Puzzled, I hung up. Moose called a bit after that and said she got a ride home from a very nice black man in a Range Rover. She offered him snacks from Tedeschi’s for his kindness but instead he asked for a phone number, she gave him mine.

I told Moose that’s how you get chopped into little pieces, but at least she got home safe.

All the while Biz wanted Chinese food (please note: Biz was previously featured in Bringing in ’09 right… and barfed chinese into my friends sink…) I honestly called every place this side of the red line. We ended up settling for a lean pocket around 3 a.m. and calling it a night.

Needless to say, we were hurtin’ on Sunday. Beef called the bar claim her debit card with our last name. Come to find out Moose had left her card at the bar too. Believe it or not I was the only [insert my last name if you know it here] sister to come home with all of her belongings. Can’t wait for Second Lieutenant Blackout to come back to town again…

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[Insert Overused Irish Saying/Joke/Blessing Here]

March 17, 2009

Sunday was a great, great day. It was the St. Patty’s day parade in South Boston. I will take any excuse to day drink, and this was probably one of the best excuses you can have throughout the year.

Here are the highlights:

1) Being rather ambitious I thought I’d sign up for the road race. Even though it was a “mere” 5k, it was quite the struggle for me. And no, I couldn’t even use the excuse that I was hungover. The hills of Broadway did a number on my geriatric hips. I finished the race at what could probably not be classified as a run. It was more of a slow, slow trot. My time was slightly acceptable…but I got beat by 1 second by a 40-49 yr old named Bertrand. Seriously?

Needing a beer immediately, I ran home, just about a mile, from the race. Sadly enough this was probably the fastest I ran all day. I guess the thought of green jello and beers could only truly motivate me once I missed my 10:30 “start drinking” time.

2) The lone guy at our party at 11:00 a.m. counted 35 chicks. By 11:05 we had well above 40.

3) Stopping by my friend’s house and meeting his mom and 18 yr old brother. His younger brother tried to pee off the deck and ended up peeing all over the deck, creating a huge puddle, right in front of her…

4) For some reason, one of our friends decided he wanted to continually pick me up the all day long. At a point in the day where we were a little wobbly and close to the bathroom doorway, he lifted me up and I must have leaned back because we kareened to the floor and I smashed my head on the edge of the shower. Thank G I wasn’t bleeding because a drunken trip to the hospital really wasn’t on the itin. for the day.

Problem: the symptoms of a concussion are quite similar to the actions of a drunk person. I still don’t know if I’m alright….

5) Trying to convince my fully bearded friend that I could shave his beard with a Venus razor.

He and his roommate walking 2 miles to get to the party.

6) Beers, Beers, Beers:
-Finishing the Keg by 1:30
-My sisters (Moose and Beef) getting 4 more 30’s
-Moose’s boyfriend (previously featured in Awesome?) managing to waddle down the street solo, with 3 30’s (more backup beer, duh!) Thus proving he is, in fact, Awesome!
-Finishing all the bailey’s and all of the guinesses (plural: guinni?) that were in the house
– Finding about 60 beers “hidden” throughout the house” yesterday.

7) A man scaling a balcony, and hopping two fences to play flip cup with us.

8) My friend’s brother stating “Okay, my time here has passed. I’m OUT”. My other friend, completely disregarding the fact that he is quite attractive, getting right in his face and saying: “Seacrest. OUT”.
9) Accidentally spiking my phone off the wall after realizing someone had gone #2 in my bathroom. Realizing that if you have 2 bathrooms and yours is in the basement…everyone will follow suit. Goo.
10) Waking up at 10 p.m. thinking it was morning

I think not getting arrested, taken to the hospital, and getting myself to work on time was an incredible feat. I was even called a “champion” for doing so. Holler.

Popprincess OUT.

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Creatures of Habit…

March 11, 2009

This morning, I headed to our office kitchen to drop my lunch off in the fridge and make my morning cup of coffee(yes, I’m a bringer. And yes, it was a pb & j. Again I am 23 going on 12). Being that it is “Bagel Wednesday” there were a few more of my fellow co-workers in the kitchen than on an average day, but more importantly, there was a buzz in the room and something seemed a bit off.


I pulled open the cabinet, and to my dismay, it was lined with paper coffee cups that looked like they came from Level 4 of Mario Bros. 3(ahem, obvi, “big world”). Now these cups are probably only about a half size bigger than the cups we’ve had every day since I can remember; yet, this small change had drastically thrown off everyone’s daily routine.


I, a k-cup drinker, thought “Do I have to get more coffee now?”and opted to press the 10 oz instead of my usual 8. Thus, leading me to be slightly more jittery, and requiring an additional pee break in the AM. Other, ground coffee drinkers couldn’t seem to fit the new XL cup under the spout, I mean, that would really eff up my jam if I couldn’t even get my morning cup o’ joe. One woman even exclaimed “Seriously! This just ruined my whole day!”. Well get with it sister, there’s a whole cabinet full of ’em so I guess you’d better get over it.

That really got me thinking. Are we such creatures of habit that we let the tiniest change in our routine have an adverse effect on our day?…I think so!

Okay hear me out:

You’re having an average day and then,

You log on to the good book, and get a message:

whaaat ever do you mean my account is unavailable for a few hours??? Bollox!!(my british alter ego would say). Repeatedly attempting to log on until successful (even though the message clearly stated hours) will absolutely decrease my productivity, and in turn, eff up my day.

Moving on, it’s 3 hours before the big game. You can’t find your lucky skivvies, socks, sweatband etc.

You spend the next 1/2 hr. scouring your room and turning your whole place inside out to find said item.

You end up late to the locker room with your jersey on backwards and are not at all in a calm mindset for the game. Definitley effs up with your head when you get out there on the field…fo sho.

What if milk really was a bad choice?

Okay there are two ways milk can eff up your day.

1)not having any for your [insert breakfast cereal of choice here].

2) having milk; however, not checking the expiration date and finding out the hard way, that it has already expired.

For English Press 1

Trying to track a package, call verizon, Dell or any customer service number really takes a toll on one’s day. I call and get an automated system. I get halfway through and I get a beep, EFF. So I call back and start over. I JUST WANT TO SPEAK TO A HUMAN. I waste 3 hours on the phone talking to, well, no one.

Or say, at the end of a looong loong day, you get all the way to the gym…

You’re totally revved up to hop on the elliptical, treadmill, or even pump some iron. Son of a nutcracker!! your freaking ipod has no juice.

The last one.

You get home from work after sour milk at breakfast, huge cups at work, no juice in your ipod and you open up the cabinet/fridge/freezer and grab for a nutri-grain, hot-pocket or fruit roll-up (yes, again I might be 12). Some considerate person put the GD box back, with nothing in it.

Okay you might think I’m being a complainer. Yes, true, the above listed scenarios may “just suck”, maybe a few are just superstitious, and maybe they could be lumped in with general pet peeves. But I bet most of you agree, seemingly trivial scenarios/pet peeves etc. can change our outlook on a day. I think we just need to roll with the punches a bit more. Let’s not let a GINOURMOUS cup be the be all end all of our day. Seriously, it’s absurd. And hey, once I got my morning brew in that enormo-cup, it was half full, right?

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f my life dot com…and other ways to procrastinate

March 9, 2009

I could probably fill a whole day of work with doing nothing.

This, in part, could be due to the fact that there is not any security over the websites I peruse while I’m at work. Seriously – zero, nada, zilch. So I guess the amount of time-wasting you can do at work directly correlates with what your work has blocked…

Regardless, here are some of the things I waste my time on conveniently found on the good old interweb:

Probably one of the best websites ever created. If you are feeling bad about yourself just go to http://www.fmylife.com/ and update yourself on “the FMLs” you will feel much better.
My favs so far:
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, ‘YEAH’. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

Today, I typed an essay on my friend’s computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject “here, bitch” as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn’t change the subject name. FML
Gtalk/Gchat
Gtalk is not quite as covert as gchat within your email but I enjoy it. It’s like AIM for the young professional.
I also have it on my blackberry…I am addicted.
My status messages are often immature:

1) Quotes from TV: “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised” – The Office

2) Quotes from movies: “Those your skis? Both of ’em?” – Dumb & Dumber

3) Links to other places my friends/coworkers can waste time at: http://www.tmz.com/
If you haven’t yet joined the gchat world…get with it.
http://www.thiswhyyourefat.com/
Website’s tagline: Where dreams become heart attacks.
A McGangBang: a McChicken inside of aDouble Cheeseburger.

www.someecards.com


Music
http://www.downloads.nl/local/en/mp3.html

Downloads.nl let’s me download all the pop music I want. I’m sure it has some of whatever you like.

http://www.tunefind.com/
songs you hear on your fav. tv shows a lot can be found here

Most recent addition: Tay Swift CSI remix of you’re not sorry

For Couch Potatoes
http://www.surfthechannel.com/

Full movies, full episodes of tv shows…I don’t usually go here at work for fear of getting fired. Most recent guilty pleasure: episodes of Two and Half Men

Gossip (Obv)

http://www.perezhilton.com/
http://www.tmz.com/
http://www.people.com/

Craiglist…missed connections(last but most certainly not least)

http://boston.craigslist.org/mis/index200.html

BSC Weymouth Sat, 430ish – m4m – 29 (Weymouth)
Can’t believe I’m doing this, but figured it was worth a shot (long one). Saw you on Saturday at BSC in Weymouth, we were both in the sauna around 430ish for a while, seemed like there might be a mutual interest in meeting outside the gym. If so, and you see this give me a shout and tell me something so I know it’s you. Normal, masculine, discreet guy here.

No you are not normal if you are posting on here…but you gave me a good laugh 🙂

UNOs Woburn last night – m4w – 24 (Woburn)
To the girl at UNOs last night taking pictures of her drink with her friend, thought you were cute, you were talking about my frined about people he knew from waltham and middlesex. I doubt you read these. But if you by chance do maybe we could meet up sometime.

Okay, you were clearly eavsdropping…why didn’t you just say hi? Oh because you were borderline stalking…

Manomet Dunkin Donuts – m4w – 37 (Plymouth)
You see a thousand people a day, I’m sure. But we share a smile each time you hand me a sausage, egg & cheese on an everything. I look forward to it each morning.

Perhaps, and this is just a suggestion, if you are 37 you should not be eating a sausage egg and cheese on a bagel…every.single.day. At least maybe go for a flatbread once in awhile if you’re eating DD that much, then maybe you’re missed connection will fall in love…

So if you’re bored at work and you’ve already read my blog cover to cover…just cruise to one of the above sites for an hour or two of entertainment…

I told you ilovermont…

March 2, 2009

Okay so I knew this weekend was going to be one for the books (or blogs)…

So – I have compiled my top 10-Moments of the weekend
(Not Necessarily in Chronilogical Order)

10) I hit on a girl, kind of by accident…

Some of the girls brought the female bartender from down the street to the party…I asked her if she watched House she said “No”. Then I asked her “Well, do you watch the OC? You know that girl that dated Seth, but then turned out to be a lesbian? You look like her. But she’s hot, it’s like a compliment.”
She avoided me like the plague for the rest of the night…
9) Friday morning 11:30 at Rite Aid, 12-pack in 1 hand, Gatorade in the other.
Random Man: What’s the Gatorade for, to wash down the beer?
Me: yes, yes it is.
8) Admitting I am a fraud and watching HSM 3 for the 1st time. I heart Zac Efron even harder now…
7) Showing up at Burlington’s “hottest” dance club. Having it be 18+ night (no effing way -right?). Getting in a fight with a gap-toothed 18+. Not being able to buy 2 mix drinks on my card because there was a $10 minimum. Being pissed that mixed drinks were $4 each.
6) Our hotel – not exactly a moment but in general the Anchorage Inn is not one of the finest establishments Vermont has to offer
a) Moving us into a room with 1 bed because the hot water wasn’t working – 4 of us slept in one bed
b) The hot water still not working on saturday morning – cold showers.
c) Realizing the $ I owed for the hotel for the whole weekend was
less than my bar tab for one night.
d) Having Nugget then point out it was less than half my bar tab…
e) Someone jacking our heat to 90, waking up at 6:30 because we could not breathe…we layed in the hallway of the hotel…the hotel might actually be a
whorehouse…

d) Since we woke up hot and hungry at 6:30, we decided we needed food. We went to burger king at 6:30 a.m., it was snowing, I was in shorts. The woman at burger king yelled at me, for being in shorts.
I then ordered an original chicken sandwich(obv), she turned around, slid the menu back and said “sorry only breakfast” I ordered french toast sticks instead. Goo. I thought that I was supposed to be able to have it my way???

5) Your Baby Can Read . com
For 2 hours the 4 of us layed in one bed and watched this infomercial


4) Meeting a freshman and having her say “OMG you’re [insert my name here]?? You’re a legend”.

3) Others pointing out that they are also incredibly single:
a) Going to get pizza & wings with Quasi ( note: nicknamed quasi[moto] for a sun burned that somehow turned her into a french hunchback last spring break). She had Buffalo Sauce dripping down her ands and her mouth full of wings and stated “You know what I could really use right now?? A frappe!!”. I rebuttled with “Okay Quasi…why are you single??”
b) Quasi’s Roommate saying: “Yea whatever, I’m borderline 21, and not borderline in a relationship”
[side note: these two also know all of the choreographed dance moves to the HSM trilogy]
2) Getting to the bar and immediately taking tequila shots with 8 of my closest friends. All of us looking at eachother and immediately following up these shots with jager bombs.
1) Post Mardis Gras – going out to one of the nicer restaurants on Church Street, eating a delicious meal, and not remembering any of it.

Yep – Idefinitleylovermont. Can’t wait to go back after the spring thaw.

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